Advice Needed

FTM to a 9 week old. So I know you shouldn’t leave the baby in the car, they can overheat, it’s very dangerous.

My question is how extreme do you follow this? I was at the gas station yesterday and had to go inside to pay. Baby was sleeping in his car seat and I was alone. He had been fussy all morning so I didn’t want to wake him up. It was an overcast, cool day. I left him in the car and paid for gas and was back in about 2 minutes but I felt guilty when I came back. Then while I pumped gas I stood with the door ajar so I could watch him and there was fresh air coming in.

What would you do? Should I have brought the baby with me? Cracked the window open? I would never even think to leave him if it was even slightly warm out.

ETA: seems pretty clear the general consensus is to take the baby with you. Thank you guys; I think I just needed to hear it from others. I sometimes talk myself out of being cautious because I convince myself that I’m just overthinking things. It’s a relief to see that my worries are justified and I should trust my gut.

Sleepy one week old not gaining weight

 Advice Needed

Our LO is just over a week, he was born at 40w super healthy. But he lost 11% after birth and he’s still not gaining weight. He’s extremely sleepy, we can’t wake him up for feeds. We tried everything: cold washcloths, tickling, even putting ice on his foot, he just doesn’t care. He doesn’t have jaundice. He’s pink, he poops and pees around 12 times per day, everything seems good from the outside.

He used to latch very well but I didn’t have enough milk in early days. Because he lost 11% they told us to add formula. But he’s still not gaining weight so they told us to just bottle feed him for a few days to see how much food does he exactly eat. Now he wouldn’t even latch at all.

We are super worried about him not gaining weight while he eats every 3 hours (it’s impossible to wake him up earlier, not even at 3h though), he eats around 90-120ml every feed (breastmilk plus formula), and yet he doesn’t have the energy to wake up properly. I actually thought he was overfed that’s why he wouldn’t wake up but midwives told us the opposite, like he doesn’t have energy to wake up and needs to eat more.

I’m so miserable and scared of what’s going on with him, how will I ever catch up on milk supply when he stopped breastfeeding(I pump but it’s not the same. And I really want to exclusively breastfeed if that’s ever possible), is there anything wrong with him from the inside?! What could be wrong?

Also I cry all the time because I’m super scared and everyone keeps telling me it will effect my milk supply. But I can’t stop crying.

Any advice?

Do you carry your baby outside in public with no support ( i.e. no carrier, just in your arms?)

 Advice Needed

My partner and I had a disagreement yesterday, and have had some form of this same disagreement a few times. He wanted to take our baby (5.5 months old) out of the buggy, and carry her in his arms around a kilometer to our friend’s house (she was falling asleep too early and her naps were going to be messed up; he thought carrying her would wake her).

I don’t like him carrying her in his arms for more than short stretches when we’re outside. My reasons: we’re all human, ie occasionally clumsy, and if he (a big guy) fell while holding her, he might kill her. The paths are uneven, and that falling risk is not zero. He was wearing a puffer jacket and she a snow suit - both slippery, making holding her more difficult. We needed to hustle to be on time and I didn’t want him rushing while holding her.

He sighed and said ‘okay’ in a tone that sounded like the vocal equivalent of rolling your eyes, and then I got annoyed because I thought his attitude was terrible. One confusing fight later, cut to him telling me he didn’t remember making that noise, he was sorry if I felt a certain way about the noises he had made, and telling me that actually, I often take a tone with him too, without meaning to. And pointed to the fact he was feeling unwell and told me I was reading into the noises something that wasn’t there. I don’t buy that, because he’s made those same passive aggressive noises before in the same situation and I know what they mean.

Eventually he admitted that yes, he was a bit pissed off at me, because we have different safety standards (I err on the side of caution with our daughter) and he thinks I’m overreacting when I ask him not to carry our daughter unsupported. He said he carries her around the house all the time, he’d do it if I wasn’t there and asked exactly when it was going to be safe, in my opinion, for him to carry his daughter.

I ended up crying on the street and still feel a bit upset. The argument ruined my whole day and ruined the evening with my best friend, for me anyway, which was supposed to be a celebration of our engagement. I felt embarrassed to have been obviously crying, was really late, and felt like I was performing happiness very poorly. It was exhausting.

I couldn’t find an answer to this on Google at all - does everyone just carry their baby for distances? Am I actually overreacting or being overly cautious? She’s just so tiny and precious to me. I think asking for extra caution with our daughter is very reasonable and I f***ing hate being treated like a nag or a buzzkill for trying to maintain that caution, but when I hear his sighing, defeatist tone I really feel like one.

VIDEO OF THE DAY

Feeding Your 1-Month-Old Baby

All your baby’s food and nutrition needs can be met with breast milk or formula.

When a baby needs to eat every two or three hours, even during the night, it may seem as if you’ll never get to sleep again. As she gets bigger, though, she won’t need to be fed as often.

When should you feed your baby? Whenever she is hungry. Watch the clock but also watch—and listen—to your baby. Babies usually cry when they’re hungry. If fed when hungry, many babies will start to get themselves on a regular schedule in about a month.

If you try to set a rigid feeding schedule, you and your baby may both be frustrated and unhappy. So, be as flexible as you can be during this first month.

Rather than growing a little bit each day, babies grow in spurts. During growth spurts, your baby may seem hungry all the time. She will stop eating when she is full, so don’t try to get her to take more than she wants.

Breast Feeding Tips

Breastfed babies usually need to eat more often than bottle-fed babies, especially during the first few months. It is common to nurse a baby every hour or so during the part of the day when the baby is most active. Breast milk naturally changes based on the needs of the baby.

Breast milk is the best food for babies and the only food they need for the next four to six months. Breast milk is easier to digest and helps protect babies from infections and allergies.

One way to know your baby is getting enough milk is to count wet diapers – there should be at least six a day. If you need help with breastfeeding, contact a lactation consultant at your hospital or your county WIC breastfeeding staff.

Bottle Feeding Tips

If you feed your baby formula, cool formula won’t hurt him. Most parents want to warm formula to body temperature. Don’t heat bottles in a microwave oven. The bottle may feel cool on the outside but will still have hot spots inside that could burn your baby’s tender mouth.

Heat the bottle in a pan of warm water that has been removed from the burner, or hold the bottle under hot tap water for a minute. Always shake the bottle well to mix the formula. Test the temperature by sprinkling some formula on the back of your hand. If it feels lukewarm, it’s OK for him to drink.